Posted by: steveonfilm | April 25, 2009

The Deets

I was tinkering today with a scene today that involves Ryan discussing a score with his team. This is the score that will ultimately be the catalyst for the remaining events in the screenplay. I wanted it to be believable, but not overly technical.

So I broke the explanation into four beats, introduction, cameras, alarms, and closure. This way I could work on each beat independently, and afterward weave them all together. The scene isn’t great, but it’ turned out much better than I expected.

Hopefully you’ll be able to identify when I move through each of the beats.

———-TEST SCENE———-
INT. RYAN’S WAREHOUSE APARTMENT – NIGHT
Big John and Drew on the couch. Drew plays with his knife.

Kevan looking out a window to the street below.

Ryan pours two scotches at the liquor cabinet.

RYAN
We’ve done six scores together. Ironed out the wrinkles.

Ryan walks over and hands a drink to Kevan.

RYAN (CONT’D)
It’s time we step it up. Take on a big money score.

Ryan sits in a chair.

KEVAN
Someone’s been talking to Sammy.

RYAN
And he hooked it up. The score is Union Federal. About three million. All cash. Get in. Grab the money. Get out. Just like the others.

Kevan turns and sips his drink.

KEVAN
What’s the exposure?

RYAN
No more amateur hour. Real deal here. Two, maybe three guards. All packing. Multiple cameras. All wireless. Each with a direct feed from the internal network to a security station off site, which we can’t get to. Ideas?

Ryan looks at Drew.

DREW
Handle it at the source. We sniff each camera’s IP traffic and record some footage. Buy some botnet time to launch a DNS attack to take down the network. By the time it’s back up I’ve already spoofed the cameras IP addresses and am transmitting my footage. Security station won’t have any idea something’s up.

BIG JOHN
You got a make on the alarms?

RYAN
Three of ‘em. Teller line. Managers office. And the vault. The first two run through a junction box across the street. We can crack that open, toss on some repeaters, and the alarms talk themselves to death if their tripped.

KEVAN
Just leaves the vault alarm.

RYAN
Which I can’t get a make on.

KEVAN
So much for that.

Ryan sips his drink.

RYAN
Beauty of this score, we don’t have to worry about it. Money’ll be sitting on a table outside the vault, arranged and stacked, waiting for an armed pick up. We just get to it first.

BIG JOHN
This shit just gets sweeter and sweeter.

KEVAN
That doesn’t make sense.

RYAN
Doesn’t need to make sense. It’s bank policy. On withdrawals this big they move the money out of the vault thirty minutes before the scheduled pick up. This minimizes the time the vault’s open, and reduces their exposure to theft.

DREW
And we’re not interested with what they got in the vault.

RYAN
No need to get greedy. Those are the deets fellas. I told you Sammy hooked it up. So we golden?

Ryan looks over the crew. Big John nods. Drew nods. He stops on Kevan.

Kevan finishes his drink.

KEVAN
Sounds too easy.

RYAN
They always do.

Kevan mulls it over some more before caving.

KEVAN
Yeah, we’re golden.

Enjoy.
-Steve

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: