Posted by: steveonfilm | July 1, 2009

Progress is a Four Letter Word

I’ve made some good progress on Served Cold. I’ve been trying to work in about an hour each night. Sometimes I get a lot done. Sometimes I end up watching YouTube videos. I guess you gotta take what you can get.

My 14 point beat sheet for Act 2A changes little by little as I work on Act 2B. It’s pretty normal stuff. I add in something in 2B, I decide to make a reference earlier in 2A. I do something in 2B, I remove a redundant scene from 2A. Things like that.

Served Cold has been interesting for me to work on on a creative level. A lot of the times in the past I wrote without having a real feel that I’ve got control over the story. However, with Served Cold I’m really comfortable with the subject matter and the narrative. I’ve really been able to take a step back and view things from a high level, and seeing what’s working and what isn’t. Before starting on this project, I’d always found myself trying to convince myself to let things stay, instead of letting go of what I knew deep down inside wasn’t working.

For whatever reason that isn’t happening this time. I’m able to just cut what isn’t working. I can see when things that sounded good in my head don’t play out well in the narrative. I’m not sure if it’s how I’ve prepared for this specific project, of if it’s just because of me having more writing experience now. I don’t know, but whatever the reason it’s working.

I’m going to post where the Act 2B 14 point beat sheet is at right now. You can contrast it to my earlier post showing just a few lines here and there to see how it’s grown. Just remember, it’s not spell checked, or grammatically correct, just notes as they get fleshed out.

1. Fisher meets Koteric at the zoo. Fills him in on the reality of what’s going on, the upcoming heist at Metro Bank and Trust, and things with Garnier. In the end he asks Koteric for help. Witness protection. AA for his mom, or something.

2. More planning. They’ve got a get a system scan of the security system. Everything runs through a junction box in a utility building across the street. Fisher and Carter hit it up, do the scan while avoiding security, and get out.

3. Surprise visit with Adele. They go back to Fisher’s place. We see his paintings. Machine shop. Etc. A bigger glimpse into how he lives, but not too much. This can also be the time where we see a car under a tarp, but Fisher prevents Adele from pulling it back. We just catch a glimpse of the front right panel. “That’s a project I’m not done with yet.”

4. Vasser gets up from a bed. Loud techno music blaring from a room nearby. He pulls up his pants. Another body in the bed next to him. A man. He snorts a quick line. Then puts on a shirt. He wanders through the house as he buttons up the front. The room with the techno has Bernard roughing up some guy. Me moves into a warehouse area/chop shop and lights up a cigarette. Sparks fly everywhere. We se the burgundy Lincoln town car from earlier being worked on. He looks up to see Garnier in the office overhead and walks in. Garnier and some squirrly guy go over some numbers. They’ve got just about all the money, save 250 grand or so (Fisher’s hospital payment). Word getting out to Gambini that it was Garnier’s doing. Good, he likes that. Keep the pressure on and they’ll come to us looking for consseions.

5. Koteric and joint FBI/DPD team set up sting. Briefing in some sort of planning room. Joint operation. FBI calls the shots, but it’s DPD on the ground, their people, so they have tactical command. This is a snatch and grab program. Koteric outlines the two parties, and where the handoff will take place. The DPD is in the know on the Metro Heist, Koteric has already briefed who he needed to on that matter, and local officials will handle and downplay the response accordingly.

6. After the meeting Koteric outside lighting up. Spots Lim on a cell phone. Lim says he didn’t know he’d be on this, had to tell the wife he’d be home late. New baby and all.

7. PINCH TWO Start of Heist. They get in via a rooftop drop. Mostly smooth sailing. Security matches what they had on hand. Access is in an air duct that runs from an interior roof room or whatnot.

8. Heist goes to hell. A guard on station leaves to go downstairs for his “break,” but leaves his gameboy behind. With the guard gone, Fisher and the team enter from the air duct and start the break in. Downstairs the guard tells the other guard he’ll be right back, left his gameboy upstairs. The guard arrives and discovers the break in. Brief firefight. Fisher owns a couple of guys. Alarms, all sort of shit going off. Some of it effective, some of it not. They get the goods in the main safe and head to the rooftop. some more shooting and high stakes. Once on the roof, they grab the chopper line and it drags all four of them away.

9. The FBI and DPD teams are in position on the rooftops of the auto park.

Hand off goes to shit.

10. Funeral.

11. Fisher at the dock. We’re lead to believe Fisher is killed.

12. A surprise visit to Manny.

13. Guns and more guns.

14. Plot Point 2 – Fisher meets with Gambini.

As you can see, there is still work to be done, it’s just a matter of staying consistent and seeing this through.



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