Evidently, our Battleship has sunk. I’m not sure anyone is surprised. Frankly, why that movie was made to begin with is beyond me. It certainly didn’t need the name Battleship. It could have been titled ‘The Banana King’ and done pretty much the same, and likely saved Universal at lease some money by not having to pay for the Battleship license. Then again, I don’t know the ins and outs of the deal Hasbro has with Universal, so maybe it wouldn’t have saved them any money.
I just don’t understand what the game Battleship had to do with anything. I mean, this isn’t Battleship. This is “The Abyss vs. The Navy.” And not even the good Navy with jets and shit. It’s like, the JV Team Navy. You wanted Battleship, then show us two armies fighting it out at sea, or God forbid space, with some sort of futuristic control scheme that at least bears some resemblance to the game. Imagine two super genius kids controlling two opposing Navy arsenals with these mind control helmets and this awesome 3-D TRON like grid displays. Then, at least, we have the interesting conflict of a war to enjoy, some cool retro effects, and possibly Justin Bieber. Instead, we get a Michael Bay style alien ship attacking the JV Team Navy.
I feel bad for Taylor Kitsch. The guy certainly looks legit. I mean, I think he can be serious action/thriller star going forward. He has the look. He has the acting chops. But he’s also the lead in two horrible flops this year. Not just horrible flops, MASSIVE FLOPS. Not sure if that will sting his cred or not. It might be time for Taylor to do a few smaller indie flicks and surprise us with a role really gritty thriller in two years or so. But then again, what do I know, I live in Atlanta and work in IT as a project manager.
Anyway, all this bizarre and totally unneeded movie hype has inspired another young creative type to come up what it the enviable next step for Hollywood: Tetris: The Movie…